Adventures of a Beauty Queen has been offline for almost A WEEK now (horrors!) for I have unexpectedly become a brand new Chihuahua Mom!

My Darling Rames!
After the violent death of my darling kitten Peppy (he was attacked by a big dog) I was so despondent that I bought a Buy and Sell to look for a Chihuahua and found THIS LITTLE GUY. But before you click that link, let me make it VERRRY clear that nothing could ever replace my darling Peppy but I felt that maybe a little puppy could ease the heartache.
I will be honest that I became severely impartial to small doggies after meeting Sugar, the Chihuahua of my friend and Missosologist Eton Bonifacio, at the press presentation of the Miss Earth 2009 candidates. Sugar was such a “CHI-VA” (chihuahua diva) minus the bad-attitude, that I fell in love permanently with her species.

Meeting Sugar at the Miss Earth 2009 Press Presentation

My late Fox Terrier, Andrew Love
Soon enough, I found myself purchasing my own Chi – a 3 month old boy; white with big black spots and orange eyebrows (he looks like a mini-version of my late Fox Terrier Andy Love) a slightly deformed left paw and no balls. His previous owner explained that he had undescended testicles and that THAT only affected his ability to procreate and did not make him a chicken.
Well, I didn’t give a woof. I wanted him and he was MINE!
After a FAMILY debate on whether we should call him Behemoth or Mothra, we decided on the more suave and kingly RAMSES.

Ramses' baby photo
IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO BUY A CHIHUAHUA, HERE ARE A FEW THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:
1. Chihuahuas are a one-human dog.
Out of all my family members, Ramses has picked me to be his human BFF! He will follow me all over the place and answer my call above all others. When I am gone, his yaya Paning takes care of him but he isn’t truly happy until I get home. And because Chihuahuas are like children, I spend time playing with him and his little collection of toys and I usually tuck him into bed at the end of the day.
To make sure Ramses doesn’t become anti-social and exclusively focused on me, I share him with everyone in the family and bring him to work to meet other people. I’ve also taken him shopping so he can get used to bustling crowds.
2. Chihuahuas are true lap-dogs.
Little Ramses is a frisky little bundle of fur who enjoys chasing around but if I put him on my lap, HE STAYS THERE. It’s a wonderful change from the typical puppy who can’t wait to rush off and explore the house or chew your shoe. This trait makes chihuahuas such wonderful companions in and outside the house.
3. Chihuahuas are small.
So they eat small. And they poo small. Two things I am EXTREMELY grateful for. LOLOLOL!
4. Chihuahuas do not know they are small.
These guys think they are blue whales or something. They do not hesitate to attack creatures of all sizes if they feel threatened. Ramses has a surprisingly low bark when he is trying to ‘protect’ me from ’strangers’.
5. Chihuahuas and Children DON’T GET ALONG.
Because Chihuahuas are small, children think they’re toys. That’s of course until the chihuahua bites back.
6. Chihuahuas need displine.
Because they are too cute for your shorts, Chihuahuas can get away with more than just your SHORTS!!! But DON’T let them take over! The second you bring your Chi home, establish who is boss. You do this by setting a daily pattern that they HAVE TO follow religiously. For example: Ramses has 3 meals a day and right after each meal he is put in the bathroom to poo. If he accidentally poos outside the bathroom, I show him I am displeased with a stern voice. If he poos or pees in the right place, I tell him that he is a good boy.
After Ramses is potty trained, I will attempt to train him with the help of a few internet resources that I have found.
While discipline is great, never yell at or spank your Chihuahua. And don’t rub his nose in his doodoo as punishment for pooing in the wrong place. A displeased tone of voice is enough to tell him that what he did was wrong.
7. Chihuahuas tend to follow your mood.
When you get excited, they get so tickled pink that they go peepee. But when you are calm, they start to relax and chill out.
In the mornings, Ramses wakes up REALLLY early. But he patiently waits in his little bed (which is next to ours) until Ron and I wake up. When Ramses sees that we are ‘ready’ he greets us a good morning with his wet nose and wiggly body. Then it’s playtime and breakfast!
8. Chihuahuas easily get cold.
I’ve already bought Ramses 3 tshirts. Each one big enough to comfortably cover a coffee mug. But with the shocking cost of size-zero doggie tees I am seriously thinking of putting up an ukay-ukay for pets.
Animal fashion is JUST TOO DOGGONE EXPENSIVE!!!
IF YOU ARE A CHIHUAHUA OWNER, PLEASE TELL US TELL US ABOUT YOUR CHI IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!!!
by Joyce Burton Titular, the blogging beauty queen

Rawrrrr!!!